For some of you un-webwise shaved monkeys, or indeed those too ignorant to enjoy the epic advances Twitter has given us (not) I thought Id let you all in on a little bit of Twitter magic. Heres just a snapshot of everything Ive posted on Twitter, most of which are funny. Or else I wouldnt be posting them, would I? Even comes with a bit of an explination as to the origins of them :) Anything with # is what we know as a 'Trending Topic' and you make up something after the phrase.
'Sorry but if your belly is further out than your tits, then your fat love. No no, dont argue, just eat ya cake.' Priceless Is following Yoko Ono... just Paul, Ritchie and Olivia to go and my Beatles obsession will be complete :) Note to self : In future dont laugh at Girlfriends failed A-Level results and in return, she wont dump you! Lesson learnt the hard way!! Listen, do you want a know a secret, do you promise not to Tweet... #tweatles Couldn't the BBC have found a better name for a programme than 'Virgin Cooks' The elderly and/or visually impaired must be OUTRAGED! Possibly the greatest celeb lookalike ever... Whoopi Goldberg and Levi Roots, the man from the Reggae Reggae Sauce thing off Dragons Den I have 7 tweet friends... now I shall rise and take over this miserable world and call it.... DALE LAND Is not the Messiah, Im a very naughty boy!!! WHY CANT I UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL THESE QUESTIONS ARE ASKING ME, I AM SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY THICK This is my Century tweet... wish I could do something more special for it, but ya know, Im lazy (Y) @dysonjeremy I have to agree, so far, this beats all the other Johnny Cash documentaries that have been knocking round the Beeb
This was to one of my comedy idols, 1/4 of The League of Gentlemen. I got a reply back for it too.
Inability to express and fufill emotional needs lead to depression, low self esteem & rapid mood swings between depression and euphoria... Happy 1 year Anniversary Unemployment, the only person willing to stick by me through everything... thats loyalty (Y) #thoushallnot Go clubbing this weekend... Seals are becoming endangered nowadays
Cant beat an animal abuse joke can ya.
#thoushallnot Stalk another person... we prefer the term 'obviously spying' in this part of town 200 Tweets *dances funky dance* Thats all your getting out of me tonight now, cba with my mergence of Twit and Facebook, or Twatbook! Nighto #HowWouldYouFeel If I sang out of tune, would you stand up and walk out on me... no wait... thats The Beatles :/ Ahh well! Still EPIC #ILoveItWhen A plan comes together *lights cigar* #bonofacts Bono left his radio on so The Edge didnt feel lonely during the Live 8 concert Why is it there is only 1 solo Paul McCartney song I can listen too from start to end and not shout shit over the top of it? Genius my arse! T-Mobile pitys the fool that switches companies! Doesnt think a Yorkshire A-Team would have the same epicness... Ohh I loves it when a plan combine harvesters! If you can win an argument citing porn as your main case in point, Ima admit, your pretty good! #failedpickuplines Is your name Latex, cus this johnny has your name on it
Yep, thats a real one.
#WaysToAnnoyPeople - Personally, to annoy just breathe my air to say something, then its completely moronic afterwards! That pisses me off!
You all know I hate morons, so it was bound to surface somewhere.
I only eat yellow snow cus at least I know whats in it #iseeyou with my eyes... Had sex with an octopus. Never been held so tight in my life #fatthoughts Dont eat the cake, dont eat the cake, dont eat the cake, dont eat the cake, dont eat the cake... CRAP!! I ate a man instead!! #youknowurescrewed when you get called a less attractive, less human-looking, less manly Susan Boyle. b
Actually happened. Fact.
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